i struggled, as a lot of teacher's do, to come off of the school year. the first two weeks found me laaaaaaaaazzzzzying to the beat of trash tv, ass cheek imprints on the couch, and wondering at exactly what point in the afternoon i should force myself to take off my pj's. it felt great to come down from the frenetic school high, but the self-indulgence seemed embarrassingly indulgent. eventually though, the discomfort did give way to acceptance. and that was the big shift.
as i sat those first weeks observing my self-judgment i began to feel judgmental about how bad i was treating myself. and then at a certain point that spark from within, who had been watching patiently, had had enough. in a sparkle the self-talk went from 'you know you're picture's in the dictionary next to lazy/indulgent/slacker' to 'thank you for finally taking the pressure off yourself. it takes a lot of courage to give yourself what you need. isn't it great to finally realize that what gives you relief doesn't have to look like anyone else's relief?'. my higher self was ready to be heard and she was blasting sweet everythings into my soul.
and so i made the conscious, courageous decision to own all the parts of me that i had been suppressing. i stopped feeling guilty for sleeping in late, eating when i wanted, connecting with khloe and lamar, and putting on make-up to do absolutely nothing. i started walking outside, strutting my stuff, and planning cute outfits for the day.
sometimes coming down and resting isn't just about feeling good and recharging. sometimes it's a non-negotiable necessity. i often tell my yoga students that practice/life is equal parts effort and ease. showing up and signing in are the effort. you're there. you've committed. the hard part is sometimes just in arriving. but, once we're there it can start to become more about the enjoyment. how much dazzle can you squeeze from your current experience? can you give yourself permission to let go of what you think you're supposed to do or what you want to control and just be there with yourself? throw a smile on your face just because you can and then see what else comes your way. chances are you'll become new friends with Ease, Grace, Giggles, and....Satisfaction.
but acknowledging our need for self-love can prove challenging. so i'll help to remind you now:
*you are, have always been, and will always be WORTH it
*the Universe wants you to feel the joy of everything you've ever wanted
*this whole experience would just not be as good without you
*you add something special that no one else ever could. the world needs you to share you
*you are so damn cute
*you are so easy to love
it takes practice to polish our souls. it takes summer vacations, inspiring chats, listening to silence, finding small things (and big things) to be thankful for. it takes caring enough about yourself that you make an effort to really listen to your body. when and what does your body really need to eat and drink? what and with whom does you mind really want to read, do, say?
taking the time to ask ourselves the questions that matter only to us.
my summer has reminded me to chill, ask empowering questions, and sparkle from the inside.
what questions are you ready to ask yourself today? what question will send your roots deeper and your branches wild with freedom?!?
(i'd love to hear from you! please post your comments and self-love questions below. loveliness is contagious!)
